April 19, 2012

Where I am

My first new re-commitment is to my house. I lived for almost eight years in a wonderfully odd, rambling ranch house. Two of my five kids have never known another house. I do appreciate it most of the time, but lately I have been seeing the flaws and dreaming about building or buying a new house.

Realistically we couldn't move for a few years, so I need to live well here in the mean time flaws and all. Of course there are flaws, old houses have flaws! It is dark, the light fixtures are from the 80's, the tile in the front entry is cracked, the yard is so huge it depresses me to think about tending it!

But it is mine. It has held my tears and dreams and songs. I want to see again the good here. I want to tend what needs tending. I want to live here like I care about how it ages. I want to value our investment. I want to love it like I did when we first bought it, when it looked like something out of 'The Love Boat', a big empty brown space we had no clue how to fill.

I am going to start by doing some minor freshening up. New door handles. Replace the many broken ceiling fans. Perhaps new faucets in Lily's bathroom. Little things, handy man things. Things that say 'I am a whole living project', 'I am attended to'.

Yes! I am turning my dreams home here and making good with what I have.





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